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    幻想曲

    晚自修 教室的灯很明很亮 学生埋头作业
    很安静
    这段时间一直很用力地欣赏自己 大声地赞美自己
    试图用这些来掩饰什么
    或者逃避 我懂的
    无聊的"小说们"还是不能进入梦乡
    尸体一样躺在床上 屏住呼吸
    不让白天的"幻想"侵蚀身体
     
    打开BLOG之前很犹豫 怕"希奇古怪"会碰痛自己
    ... ...
    但还是打开了
    粉色 求爱的颜色
    想起暑假
    ... ...
    感觉 纯粹都是感觉
    市中心的十字路口有条斑马线
    站在左边 第一格白色线 往西看
    很大的玻璃橱窗 里面 五彩斑斓的贝壳
    贝壳给人希望 却不可触及
    但因喜欢 所以选择等待
    一天 一天...
    有时候支持不下去了 就去附近的麦当劳
    以为在那里 可以守侯
    所以欣慰 继续选择了等待
    一天 一天...
    ... ...
    终于有一天 忍不住去问管理员"贝壳可以给我伐?"
    "对不起,你来晚了..."
    后来他说的没有听清楚
    就觉得身体的骨架象失去了支撑作用
    不相信 真的不相信
    于是找可以找到的人 找曾经给过希望的人
    他们漠然 说不曾看到过贝壳
    ... ...
    突然地 在回忆里发现了贝壳所有者的身影 是美好的
    所以只有安静下来 大口大口灌着咖啡
    偶尔会看到贝壳还在那里 仍旧五彩斑斓
    仍旧可以幻想 开心 特别开心
    但不能再幻想
    不是因为害怕受伤 不是因为害怕失望
    是因为从"她"那里体会到 深刻地体会到
    "爱"究竟是什么
    很难形容 真的很难
    所以认输了 第一次认输
    ... ...
     
     

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